I'm having another pathetic moment.
am I pathetic?
I wish I'm not.
I used to be a cheerful person but now I'm not.
am I too naive? yess I am.
because of that, my colorful life became black, all black.
I thought because they are my very close friends, we can be this close forever,
I thought when I'm super sad they can console me like they always did,
I thought we can hangout once a month, watch a movie, or do photobox,
I thought they got my back at my lowest,
I thought they knew when I'm sad without telling them,
I thought they gonna save me,
well
they were
but not anymore
they don't have a responsibility to do all that.
but I HAVE.
I have the responsibility to do all that.
I keep praying, "Oh Lord, please keep me away from bad people"
and now my "friends" are disappeared one by one.
God answered my prayers but I don't realize it.
but now, I realized it.
all my "freinds" are happy with their life and yes they don't need me anymore.
I'm not trying to disappeared
but
I'm just letting everyone go.
I still have their number but still,
I'm trying to let everyone go,
I'm trying to let everything go,
I'm trying to let bad thoughts go,
I'm trying to let people go,
It's not easy and never will but at least,
I try
I'm not trying to be a takabur person I just wanted to believe that
I don't need them nor they do.
I can do it,
I can be happy without them,
I can do things alone,
I got my back,
and the most important is
I CAN SAVE MYSELF.