Let Go

I'm having another pathetic moment.

am I pathetic? 

I wish I'm not. 

I used to be a cheerful person but now I'm not.

am I too naive? yess I am.

because of that, my colorful life became black, all black. 

I thought because they are my very close friends, we can be this close forever,

I thought when I'm super sad they can console me like they always did,

I thought we can hangout once a month, watch a movie, or do photobox,

I thought they got my back at my lowest,

I thought they knew when I'm sad without telling them,

I thought they gonna save me,

well

they were

but not anymore

they don't have a responsibility to do all that.

but I HAVE.

I have the responsibility to do all that.

I keep praying, "Oh Lord, please keep me away from bad people"

and now my "friends" are disappeared one by one.

God answered my prayers but I don't realize it.

but now, I realized it.

all my "freinds" are happy with their life and yes they don't need me anymore.

I'm not trying to disappeared

but

I'm just letting everyone go.

I still have their number but still,

I'm trying to let everyone go,

I'm trying to let everything go,

I'm trying to let bad thoughts go,

I'm trying to let people go,

It's not easy and never will but at least,

I try

I'm not trying to be a takabur person I just wanted to believe that

I don't need them nor they do.

I can do it,

I can be happy without them,

I can do things alone,

I got my back,

and the most important is

I CAN SAVE MYSELF.

Memanusiakan Manusia

katanya orang indonesia baik,

 

indonesia bagian mana?

 

am I included?

 

or

 

are you?

the simplest thing itu 3S

senyum

salam

sapa

but for me, 3S is still hard to do it.

 

but I'm still learning tho

 

but idk, im just too afraid to menyapa manusia lain.

 

I never smile when I pass my neighbor, I'm too scared to do that either

my neighbors never did that too, I mean it's ok I don't mind at all

 

but recently i disapa seseorang.

which it never happened in a century, he didn't even know my name,

where I live, or my age but he did it anyway.

 

someone who I don't know, 

he's not my neighbor, he just works near my house.

 

he said hi to me with the brightest smile, I've ever seen.

 

it happened a year ago,

since then, he always "senyum, salam, sapa" to me whenever we met.

I never thought that when someone smiles at me it could make my day.

 he did it to everyone.

and I'm one of them.

 

sadly, I don't even know his name.

 

 

and someday I had a thought

 

I want to be like him...

 

to be that kind

to be that pure

to be that generous

 

shoutout to someone who always "senyum, salam, sapa" to me

even I don't know your name but

 wishing you selalu diberi kesehatan, keberkahan dan kebahagiaan dalam hidup.

"senyum" could make an impact for me,

also part of "Memanusiakan Manusia"

 

 

Far East Movement

My favorite group of music since 2010. I know it’s gonna be sound so cliché but the “like a G6” is totally the badass.

I was 12 that day and I grew up watching them.

Their music also grows each year.

 

I never had a chance to watch them live even when they went to Jakarta.

 

I always watch them through youtube.

is hurting the most when

everyone watched 'em live and enjoying their music while they don’t know who

Far East Movement is, that just doesn’t make any sense.

I grew up watching 4 dudes with their music on my iPod. 

When I know that j-spliff left the group, it’s really heartbreaking.

Cz I’ve read some comments on one of the posts on facebook when someone asked about him and FM said “he’ll be back soon” it gives me hope to be honest.

But then, FM announced that j-spliff is left due to family reasons.

he's even stopped posting on instagram, which makes me more worried about him.

but I hope he's doing fine.

for me, Far East Movement will always be that 4 dudes who share their energy in music.

even they 3 now, I still can feel it (energy, passion,crazyness)

their album IDENTITY is the most powerful music for me.

maksud dan arti lirik semua lagu di albumnya bener-bener ngena banget, like i'm not an 

expert on this but for me, IDENTITY truly did a good job. one of their songs called

"Fighter" I dont know what to say, liriknya nyentuh banget, MV nya juga sedih, terharu

it feels like I felt their pain even I wasn't born in that year.

I know they really worked so hard on this album.

Far East Movement really nailed it.

 

i watched the interview of Kev and Proh on Not Your Average

with Julie Young and I remember that Proh said this

"If you wait for somebody else to provide it for you

it takes forever".

 

TERTAMPAR BANGET ANJIR:)

 

Dra

 I am working on my thesis now

but

The point of this post is to appreciate someone who always had me back in uni.

his name is Dra,

i knew him since we were in the same class in our freshman year, but never get closed. oh also our perkenalan really that odd, we kept sending messages through line, bbm and WhatsApp

Dra was so kind to me, even TOO kind. he once sent me a banana nugget which I love.

he also sent me perfume & hijab through his friend that I never forget.

waaait, he gave me another hijab in the same year, it's navy this time.

even when I was in a different class he still helped me a lot. I kinda like this guy cz he always there when no one else was.

he sent me a birthday gift for the first time in 2018, he gave me miniso tote bag yang padahal pure betjanda but he takes it too seriously.

2019 was a remarkable year for me,

it was the year of "The Last Year Being Mahasiswi", sidang q was on August 6

my friends gave me a bouquet anddddd, of course, Dra gave me a bouquet too instead of boneka beruang just like others he gave me a pink penguin (sebenernya ga request juga karena asal ngomong aja :v)

still, in the same year, Dra juga gave me (again) a birthday gift di bulan oktober, seems like he is not tired yet. this time he gave me a big white tote bag nya TBS, TBS LOH TBS THE BODY SHOP Uii

2020 Dra juga ngirim "paket" yang isinya eyeliner Maybelline sama eyeshadow TBS (LAGI LAGI TBS). can't imagine how much money he spent, terharu bgt. this guy has a way of making me smile.

2020 was a tough year for me either everyone, especially in july and august. 

AGAIN

Dra sent me a gift ada 3 sekaligus in gift-wrapped pink (aseli ni anak dapet duit dari mana?? padahal masi nedeng sama emak kwkwk)

apa dia cenayang?

he gave me a black miniso sling bag, a black wallet (yang mana memang lagi butuh banget dompet kecil) sama tote bag uniqlo.

terimakasi for the gift Dra, really means a lot.

2021.

uda 2x Dra gofood mcd, seneng bet malem2 dpt rejeki makanan,

this guy really unbelievable.

march 23, he sent me a gift, kaget.

pas baca rupanya dari Dra, he also wrote a sweet letter yang isinya beri semangat buat nyusun skripsi, speechless,

arigatou for the gift Dra.

he keeps doing great things for me and I can't write here, I remember every his kindness, forever in my heart.

Dra is one of my friends, he's very kind, drama-king, and also a great gentleman. as I said, he's one of the humans who helped a lot even in my lowest. so I can't thank him enough.

Dra, I wish we can be friends for a long time, wish I can help you the way you always did.

you owe me nothing but I owe you a billion.

I thank god every day for your presence.

to someone who always has my back, terimakasi banyak.

thank you, thank you, thank you for everything you've done for the past 5 years. I couldn't ask for a better friend.

cheers for another year

persevere

if you really like doing it,

you just have to keep doing it

 and persevering 

and then one day 

something will happen

yours

i

close

my 

eyes

&

still

see

yours

~

c.f

save the ocean

stop using plastic straw

start using a metal straw to save our planet, our ocean, and our lives.

and to the person

who uses metal straw

to save fish,

i'd like to say 

thank you so much

<3